What Are Your Best Hopes? (And Why This Question Matters More Than You Might Think)

There is a question I ask my clients at the beginning of every first session, and over time it has become one of the most important parts of the work that I do. It’s a simple question, but it carries an enormous amount of weight.

‘What are your best hopes from us working together?’

Not what has brought you here in terms of everything that feels difficult, and not a deep dive of what has gone wrong, but instead a gentle invitation to think about what you would like life to look like as a result of us spending this time together.

It is a question rooted in Solution Focused Brief Therapy and Solution Focused Hypnotherapy, both of which sit at the heart of how I work with my clients. These approaches are built on the belief that whilst it is important to acknowledge what is difficult, it is even more powerful to begin to build a clear picture of where you would like to get to.

What I have found, time and time again, is that this question can feel unfamiliar at first. Many of us are far more used to explaining what is wrong, what we are struggling with, or what we feel stuck in. We are often very good at describing the problem, but we are not always given the space to think about what we actually want instead.

When you allow yourself to consider your best hopes, even in the smallest way, you begin to move your focus forward. You start to create a sense of direction. You begin to notice what matters to you, what feels important, and what ‘better’ might look like in your world.

Your best hopes do not need to be dramatic or life changing. In fact, much of my work is encouraging small steps forward. These could be feeling calmer in day-to-day life, feeling less overwhelmed at work, or having a greater sense of confidence.

Your best hopes are not something to get ‘perfect’. They are, however, a wonderful starting point, and a direction of travel that allows us to shape our work together in a way that feels meaningful and relevant.

When we focus only on problems, our brain quite naturally stays in a protective mode. It scans for what might go wrong, revisits what has already been difficult, and can keep us feeling caught in patterns that are hard to shift. However, when we begin to focus, even gently, on what we would like instead, we start to activate an entirely different process. This is where we begin to notice small moments where things are already a little better. We recognise strengths that perhaps had gone unnoticed, and we start to see possibilities that previously felt completely out of reach.

These subtle shifts start to become significant and are built gradually through small consistent steps that begin to move things in a different direction.

If you were to pause for a moment now, and gently consider this question for yourself, what might come up? What would you like life to look like, even just a little bit, as a result of things being better than they are today?

You do not need a fully formed answer, this is just a starting point and from there you can start moving forward.

If this resonates with you, and you’re curious about what working together might look like, you’re very welcome to get in touch.

Supporting you to find clarity, build confidence, and move forward towards what matters most.